Jul 8th 2025, 7:02:56
🔔 Breaking from Banks & DarkAngel, featuring LUCHO of Clowns With Guns:
Folks, hold onto your squirting flowers, because we have a crisis of calamitous circus proportions!
🎯 The Situation
Reports confirm BigDogCWG has brazenly stolen one of your iconic clown shoes—yes, the red-and-yellow oversized foot-fashion disaster you rely on!
In a cross-rim catastrophe, your former Ringmaster attire has been wrecked—top hat askew, tailcoat tattered, sash shredded. It’s absolute chaos under the big top!
🔧 Damage Assessment
CU Loss of professional clown dignity? ✔️
Risk of spontaneous custard-pie warfare? Elevated.
Audience morale on a sharp downturn? Through the floorboards.
🚨 We’re Calling You Back
We need you—yes, YOU!—for a high-priority, custom-fitting intervention. Clown shoe and ringmaster suit restoration: urgent.
No more loose laces, no more torn tails. Time to reclaim your rightful comedic grandeur.
🧭 Next Steps
Immediate Return: Report to the dressing tent ASAP.
Inspection & Repairs: Specialists on standby for footgear and finery overhaul.
Retrieval Operation: Banks & DarkAngel squads on route to locate BigDogCWG and recover the purloined shoe.
Backup Contingency: Temporary shoe replacements dispatched—red polka-dots inbound!
📣 Message from LUCHO (@ClownsWithGuns):
“This isn’t just about a shoe—it’s about clowning with confidence. We can’t let one dog-shaped bandit ruin our punchlines!”
🕰️ Time Sensitive
This is an amber-level situation: clowning capacity currently impaired, show risk unstable. Your presence is critical—without you, there’s no laughter, no ring, no rhythm.
Deploy yourself into the spotlight ASAP.
🔔 End of Emergency Broadcast
Stay tuned for updates—Banks & DarkAngel will be monitoring your arrival and operational readiness.
Over and out—but not out of clowning.
Folks, hold onto your squirting flowers, because we have a crisis of calamitous circus proportions!
🎯 The Situation
Reports confirm BigDogCWG has brazenly stolen one of your iconic clown shoes—yes, the red-and-yellow oversized foot-fashion disaster you rely on!
In a cross-rim catastrophe, your former Ringmaster attire has been wrecked—top hat askew, tailcoat tattered, sash shredded. It’s absolute chaos under the big top!
🔧 Damage Assessment
CU Loss of professional clown dignity? ✔️
Risk of spontaneous custard-pie warfare? Elevated.
Audience morale on a sharp downturn? Through the floorboards.
🚨 We’re Calling You Back
We need you—yes, YOU!—for a high-priority, custom-fitting intervention. Clown shoe and ringmaster suit restoration: urgent.
No more loose laces, no more torn tails. Time to reclaim your rightful comedic grandeur.
🧭 Next Steps
Immediate Return: Report to the dressing tent ASAP.
Inspection & Repairs: Specialists on standby for footgear and finery overhaul.
Retrieval Operation: Banks & DarkAngel squads on route to locate BigDogCWG and recover the purloined shoe.
Backup Contingency: Temporary shoe replacements dispatched—red polka-dots inbound!
📣 Message from LUCHO (@ClownsWithGuns):
“This isn’t just about a shoe—it’s about clowning with confidence. We can’t let one dog-shaped bandit ruin our punchlines!”
🕰️ Time Sensitive
This is an amber-level situation: clowning capacity currently impaired, show risk unstable. Your presence is critical—without you, there’s no laughter, no ring, no rhythm.
Deploy yourself into the spotlight ASAP.
🔔 End of Emergency Broadcast
Stay tuned for updates—Banks & DarkAngel will be monitoring your arrival and operational readiness.
Over and out—but not out of clowning.
