There have been shark sightings this morning at local swimming areas across the Express Luxury Beach Hotel & Bistro.

This is an official warning to all guests not to go swimming without the appropriate Electromagnetic Shark Deterring Turret & Spy GearTM conveniently available at the hotel marketplace.

Hotel management will not be held responsible for loss of property.

Larry Sharkstein
-Hotel Manger

LOL

thank you for the warning. I will avoid at all costs.

Attention Hotel Guests,

The shark alert is now over. Turns out it was some drunk guy on a powered raft with inflatable shark fins in tow. Unbelievable.

We hope you continue to enjoy your stay.

-Hotel Management