Just a normal convo between 2 cool and groovy dudes!
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Someone said I was a... 'sneaky fluff!'




Well, it's true, some farts.. scare me! All you have to do, is live long enough, and poof! Farts become one of those things that may not be completely controllable!
Many farts... cause me certain levels of fear!

I used to like beer farts..! Those were SO cool.. MMmmm, methane gas, fairly explosive...

Then, I stopped drinkin beer, yet was pumpin out farts that resembled beer farts, but I couldn't explain em.. and had no excuses..

Like... Blurps!

If done right... Some could empty an elevator!..
If you are good, No one even hears those.

My farts smelled SO good..
No one elses smells good, at all~!..

Dizology> lmao
Dizology> good on ya QM...


But then.... it was like playin... craps!

Pardon the pun..

muaa Haa HAAAA!

At times, If I weren't wearin boxers, I'd swear I was blowin perfect fart bubbles! I imagined they'd look just like regular bubbles.. Maybe a light brown haze on em..

*GunGraves QUITS!*


How dare you leave, in the middle of my 'stand up' routine!!!

Blurbs in GunZ's cowboy hat!

There is a distinction..
Blurps...

and

Blurbs...

Dizology> lol QM

Blurps, may be.. moist.. and warm..

While Blurbs?
You've most likely, fluff your pants!!

Dizology> lmao It would help
if i were baked reading this, i think lol

Dizology> Everyone has
taken a gamble with a blurb and
lost at some point in their life :)


I agree..
When it happens to me, for some reason, I'll just sit there.. It's all warm, and frothy, at first.. No chunks...

I think about how many may see this, but at first, just enjoy that... squishy feeling.. Hell, if it's summertime, wearing shorts, sitting on a barstool, I may figure I should just wait awhile, let it dry up abit, cuz of the possibility it may run down one, or both your legs, should I stand!
This would take the stealth right out of the mission. Frothy farts are THE scariest! Even when the odor may be becoming evident, I just look at the person next to me, in disgust. Sometimes you just need to tip the bartender heavily, and back out.... gracefully.

There's those times when it couldn't happen at a more annoying time.. Buissness meeting, church....


Sometimes, when I'm feeling real confident. I can can roll a
fart.. for a long time.. Just squeeze my ass cheecks, and..

ppppllffbbtttt, fer about 5 seconds.

Well. Okay, perhaps 3 seconds, which is still passing controlled gas!

Short spurts are fun, too.. Play short songs, or go for the famous 'door knock'.
FFppbfTT, FTppbfTT FTppbfTT, FTppfbTT, FTppbfTT.....
FTppfbTT FTppfbTT!! :O)

Dizology> thats talent right there :)

The only problem with those, is people know who's doing it, in the elevator!

Dizology> "<QM_Diver>

My farts smelled SO good.. No

one elses smell good, at all.."

--- kind of disturbing --- but

they do say (on austin powers),

that there's nothing like smelling

your own brand :)


Dizology> haha, after about 3 to 5 seconds of noise, they

should know where it's coming from lol


I gotta say.. My Mom, after her first mild stroke, had no control when or where she'd let one go.. Seemed almost like she'd wait,
until we were in an elevator, with at least 5 or 6 people riding with us.... The doors close... then she'd go for the long fart.. These would last For 3 floors, I swear! Providing no one got in or out.. Seems she was in sync with the elevator's bell.....
You hear the... "DING!"
Instantly, her fart stopped!!..

I could only look at her and tell her .. "Damn, Mom, that was an excellent, 'out'! And she'd laugh..

Dizology> if you're a patient in a hospital, im sure that gives you the right to fart as much as you want in an elevator, regardless the number of victims inside...


Yes, this is true.. And she was, a patient, albeit an 'out' patient. lol...

Mom would get these blushing school girl looks on her face, Priceless..

Dizology> lol

Some occupants chuckled, some got out, asap None asked us our name... :P

Then, after we get out on the right floor, she'd tell me. "You
embarrassed me!" LMAO.. I'd say, hey, I was wanting out at the next floor, and tried to pretend I didn't know you..
But apparently I looked too much like her, I'd never get away with that..

Dizology> I've had some pretty nasty farts (living on an egg farm), If only I could lock them up in an elevator, im sure it would pass as a gassing chamber.

Ahh yes.... The Kovorkian Fowl Fart! Those are friggin fartastic!!! fluffin near Fartasmic!
Carefull with those though, accidental suicide would ruin the day!

Dizology> lol

OMG! YES!
EGG farts have to be THE best, for complete control of silent/stink ratio!

Dizology> lmao

I used to work out 3 nights a week, and had to drink these protein shakes, that needed 3 eggs yokes, any fruit, Apple or bananna, and ice cream, mixed with that gag me chalky protein powder.

EPIC fart bubbles!.. I could control those, pretty much.

Dizology> lmao talent :)


I mean, you'd have time to leave in the middle of church or someplace like that, before allowing a good Blurp to escape.

Those days may soon be over fer me, I'm afraid...

Actually, once I was wearing SHORTS, (summertime) and lit an egg fart on fire, (When I could really impress the girls...) ;o)..
Something went terribly wrong... Sparked the lighter in just the right spot.... It was like.... BOOOM! DUDE! It nearly burned all the hair on my ass, in about 1 split second!! I'd become fairly good at it... Until then...

Dizology> lol! perhaps I should try that then :)

WOED TO THE WISE,
WEAR LEVIS!

Dizology> LOL

I thought I might have carterized my sphincter shut! It was painfull.. Gave new meaning to the term, "dumb ass"!! :P
Dunno why but it happened eggzactly.. Not even a gentle breeze, to help dissipate the methane.. Was one of those farts that just lingers there.

Dizology> O.o

Makes think twice before saying, 'That really burns my ass!'

Dizology> lol

I thought I might have to go to the hospital, it hurt so bad..
But I just couldn't conjur up the balls to explain, I had just
blown my own ass up!

btw.. Prolly TMI, but the back of my griniblies were suddenly
nearly bald, singed a LOT of precious pubes..


I don't know why I'm fixed on asses and fart bubbles.. I haven't
even puffed any herb..


Yep, some farts scare me!


by QM..
At times more fluffty,
than trippy!

The most interesting conversation I've had today, even if it was a fluffty topic O.o

wait, what?

yup

download the Elastic Adventures Fart app for the iPhone. It will give you a pretty good assortment of farts of all types.

I'm particularly pleased with long and nasty 3. I have a great time while in line ups at the store looking like I'm having a good crap in my pants... kills time in line... makes people laugh for the most part. Gotta do the matching facial expressions... or the pant feel to see if you let a wet one slide out... ;)

This is funny

lol ooookay.

Not going to read all that...

It's far far from required reading, this is very true, Chaos..


Iv've seen those I=Phones around, TiTs.. Someday,. I might own one.. Someday..

reminds me of the old fart jokes that used to get passed around in SOL before Earth 2025 shutdown.. we had a topic... machine gun Gas..... aaah, the Ab Creating laughter to be had..

I suppose people who live in the back woods wouldn't carry around too many them there iPhone thangs... ;)

Then again, i know your situation... which isn't so far from mine, so I shouldn't poke fun.

That seriously is a fun app to bring with you on a shopping spree... or just a walk through the mall... *pfffttt*

http://www.poopprank.com/liquid-ass/index.htm

Vern... that's pretty funny. ;) Might have to order up some of that tear gas...

Just had me thinking... wonder if you can buy a can of VaGee Gee scent... would be a nasty prank to pull on your MARRIED annoying boss, teacher, principal... spray some on the back of their clothes each day... just enough that the wife will notice... and know it's not 'her' scent... ;) LMAO... gawd I'm bad.