DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD GET AWAY WITH IT, TIE?? HA! HARDLY! AGAIN I SAY, HA!
YOU HAVE BEEN TRIED IN ABSENTIA BY THE COMMITTEE OF ONE FOR VARIOUS CRIMES AGAINST THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! THIS TRIUMVIRATE OF YOUR BETTERS HAS, AFER MUCH CAREFUL THOUGHT AND DELIBERATION, AND SEVERAL VOLCANO BURRITOS AND SAM ADAMS SUMMER ALES, COME TO VERDICTS ON ALL COUNTS. HEAR NOW THEIR PROCLAMATIONS!
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COUNT 1: FELONY BESMIRCHING!
IN DECLARING THE UNRIGHTEOUS ASSUALT UPON US BY TIE LAST RESET, YOUR COMMANDER STATED THE FOLLOWING!
Originally
posted by
crag:
Well sof killed our planned war target so we have nothing to do in our war set. rather than ruining the set for a netting alliance for the hell of it. We are going to ruin the farm land for the netting alliances.
THIS EVIDENCE IS IRONCLAD! YOU BESMIRCHED ALL OVER US WHEN YOU REFERRED TO US AS FARMLAND!
VERDICT: GUILTY! SENTENCE: DEATH!
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COUNT 2: FIRST DEGREE COWARDICE!
YOUR ATTEMPT TO AVOID YOUR FATE BY HIDING WITHIN THE RANKS OF EVOLUTION HAS ONLY INCREASED OUR FURY! IT WAS ALSO FUTILE, PUERILE AND PROBABLY SEVERAL OTHER ILES!
VERDICT: GUILTY! SENTENCE: DEATH!
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COUNT 3: EXCESSIVE VITUPERATIVENESS!
DURING THE FIRST DAYS OF YOUR ASSAULT ON THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!, CRAG MADE FUN OF US ONCE IN PRIVATE. THIS HURT OUR FEELINGS, WHICH IN TURN MADE US ADMIT TO OURSELVES THAT WE MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS, WHICH IN TURN MADE US INFINITELY INFURIATED!
VERDICT: GUILTY! SENTENCE: DEATH!
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COUNT 4: UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS!
ON THIS COUNT, WE HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND SUFFICIENT EVIDENCE FOR A CONVICTION, EVEN AFTER A LENGTHY INSTANT REPLAY REVIEW DURING WHICH THE FANS BECAME QUITE UNRULY AND BEGAN THROWING THEIR BEERS AT THE FIELD!
VERDICT: NOT GUILTY! SENTENCE: 10 YARDS! AND DEATH!
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SUMMARY: YOU HAVE BEEN SENTENCED TO DEATH TIMES FOUR, AND TEN YARDS. YOUR EXECUTION IS SCHEDULED TO BE CARRIED OUT .. ABOUT 2 HOURS AGO!
EVOLUTION! YOU HAVE ALSO BEEN FOUND GUILTY ON THE CHARGE OF AIDING AND ABEDDING. HOWEVER, AS YOU WERE UNAWARE THAT YOU WERE COMMITTING A CRIME, WE WERE NOT SURE WHAT TO DO. AFTER CONSULTING THE BOOK OF LAW, WE HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE TO BE PARDONED! NO EVOLUTION MEMBERS WILL BE HARMED BY OUR RETRIBUTION. YOU'RE WELCOME!
HA!
SAM
CHIEF JUSTICE,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
